May 2011 archive

A Wave of Nostalgia

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I’ve been sitting here for the past fifteen minutes or so with my hands hovering above the keyboard trying to find the way to write something that sounded vaguely coherent. Moments before, my breath was taken away. Nostalgia. It’s like the wind was knocked out of me. Not so much in a painful way. But in a very real, something-touched-close-to-home kind of way.

I’m experiencing that strange feeling you get that seems to encompass you. To swallow you whole. More than a memory.

Watching The Celebrity Apprentice tonight I watched a Harlem Globetrotter spin a basketball on his finger. It instinctively brought me back to my childhood. My father used to do that. All the time. Seeing it on TV… tears were in my eyes before I even recognized what my mind was taking in.

It was a simple, powerful moment. Unlike a memory that’s calling on a cell in my brain, this was nostalgia — tugging on a fiber in my heart.

For those who don’t know, my father passed away my first year of middle school. My parents were already divorced, my mom re-married, and truthfully my days of being a “daddy’s girl” were long gone. He was a distant memory to me when he passed. I was angry at him. I was too young to know it’s not worth hanging on to anger. I digress.

Tonight’s reaction shocked the heck out of me. It brought forth such a deep, latent memory, that there was no way I could have seen it coming. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve thought about my dad (biological) in this light. A long time.

I need to go now. In a weird mood. Still not too coherent.

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Old Town Alexandria

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Had one of the best nights out in a long time Wednesday night in Old Town. For those of you unfamiliar with the quaint little waterfront neck of the woods in Alexandria, let me tell you — it’s amazing.

Date Night Alexandria
Date night outfit.

Just south of Washington, D.C., Old Town is a historian’s paradise that dates back to the 1800’s.
With streets filled with everything from awesome boutique shopping to fantastic restaurants, it’s arguably the most charming part of my beloved city, Alexandria.

Christmas lights adorn the streets all year round, welcoming you into the neighborhood.
The area is filled with row-houses.
Colorful little row houses.
Patriotism.
The waterfront, where I spend many a morning sailing.
My home away from home — the water.
Awesome bridge connecting Maryland to Alexandria.

Gorgeous tavern dating back to the 1700′s. Notable vistors include George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, James Madison and James Monroe. How’s that for some history?
So much history…
View from the water
One of the last preserved cobblestone streets, also known as Captains Row. While it’s a pain in the you-know-what to wear heels on this street, it’s right down by the water and is absolutely gorgeous. With large trees stretching their branches to the middle of the street like a mock arch. And all of the homes are all of brick. So nice

So yeah, I love my city, and I particularly love Old Town. While I never actually want to live IN Old Town, I’m more of a yard and fence kind of girl, I always want to live nearby. Geez, I’m in love with this area.

If you ever visit D.C. make sure you stop by Old Town. I promise you’ll love it.

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Curb our opinions from the truth

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It’s funny how we curb our opinions from the truth so often to save the feelings of those we love. I mean seriously, I have strong ideas about some things, but I’m quite sure that some people aren’t strong enough to take those opinions, so I tell them a blurred view of my own- somewhere between what they want to hear and what I really think. I know it probably doesn’t sound like the most honest thing to do, and it’s not, but sometimes I think it’s what people need most. To hear that they’re right even when you don’t think they are, because maybe what’s right for you, isn’t right for them. And maybe that’s totally crap, and maybe they’re going to be totally wrong, but sometimes in growing up we have to make some big mistakes to figure out how life works.

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lie awake wondering. everything.

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It’s no secret to the online world, I’m one heck of a night owl. If I could flip my whole day upside down, I would. Or rather I’d just stay up until 5 a.m. then sleep and not go in to work until like 10. That’d be oh so perfect. But alas, life’s not perfect. Or ideal. No fair.

I was ridiculously overworked today. As in so much to do that you wouldn’t even believe it. In fact, I’m quite sure this is going to carry throughout the entire week. I just have so much going on, and not nearly enough to time handle it all.

In 2010 I saw my life be built up and broken down. The year ended with pieces of my life lying all around me. As I’ve begun to put my life back together in 2011, I’ve given special attention to certain things. Because of this I finally have seen a few things in ways that I’ve never seen them before.

I stop and think just how many times I thought my world was coming to an end over the years. About every time something happened that I thought was just unbearable. And while those moments were tough, now I realize they weren’t signs of the end of my world.

Now, I’m seeing things differently. With more grown-up eyes.

I know that sometimes we are supposed to accept things because it’s just the way things are supposed to be. Fighting them tooth and nail would just make us miserable, because life is about more than what we want. Think about it, if everyone got exactly what they wanted all the time, the world would be in chaos. Instead, because things happen against our wills, we’re taught lessons we’d not otherwise learn. We endure things we never would have chosen for ourselves to endure. No matter how hard things get, LIFE GOES ON.

How great would it be if we all recognized that every moment of everyday? I sure would complain a heck of a lot less if I would remember it in the hard times.

But there are people who seem to get that. People stuck in prisons with life sentences who seem to get that – that even though they’re stuck in the same place for the rest of their lives, life is still going on and somehow it’s still worth living.

I’ve come to the realization in my life that every time I think things are the worst they possibly can be, something worse happens. That whatever seems like an end, is usually just a new beginning.

Yes, I’m redundant here. I get that. That also comes with writing at 4:30 a.m..

But I’m writing this as my reminder to myself, a reiteration of facts known, but often forgotten – things change. And while life may seem bleak at times, it will always go on.

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