lie awake wondering. everything.

It's no secret to the online world, I'm one heck of a night owl. If I could flip my whole day upside down, I would. Or rather I'd just stay up until 5 a.m. then sleep and not go in to work until like 10. That'd be oh so perfect. But alas, life's not perfect. Or ideal. No fair.

I was ridiculously overworked today. As in so much to do that you wouldn't even believe it. In fact, I'm quite sure this is going to carry throughout the entire week. I just have so much going on, and not nearly enough to time handle it all.

In 2010 I saw my life be built up and broken down. The year ended with pieces of my life lying all around me. As I've begun to put my life back together in 2011, I've given special attention to certain things. Because of this I finally have seen a few things in ways that I've never seen them before.

I stop and think just how many times I thought my world was coming to an end over the years. About every time something happened that I thought was just unbearable. And while those moments were tough, now I realize they weren't signs of the end of my world.

Now, I'm seeing things differently. With more grown-up eyes.

I know that sometimes we are supposed to accept things because it's just the way things are supposed to be. Fighting them tooth and nail would just make us miserable, because life is about more than what we want. Think about it, if everyone got exactly what they wanted all the time, the world would be in chaos. Instead, because things happen against our wills, we're taught lessons we'd not otherwise learn. We endure things we never would have chosen for ourselves to endure. No matter how hard things get, LIFE GOES ON.

How great would it be if we all recognized that every moment of everyday? I sure would complain a heck of a lot less if I would remember it in the hard times.

But there are people who seem to get that. People stuck in prisons with life sentences who seem to get that - that even though they're stuck in the same place for the rest of their lives, life is still going on and somehow it's still worth living.

I've come to the realization in my life that every time I think things are the worst they possibly can be, something worse happens. That whatever seems like an end, is usually just a new beginning.

Yes, I'm redundant here. I get that. That also comes with writing at 4:30 a.m..

But I'm writing this as my reminder to myself, a reiteration of facts known, but often forgotten - things change. And while life may seem bleak at times, it will always go on.