July 2011 archive

I’ve found the wall… and hit it

Hitting A Wall

For a while now I’ve been dealing with a complicated situation. It’s been one of those situations where my head said one thing and my heart another. One of those situations where you’re ready to just walk away, but you can always justify staying. No it’s not like I’ve been beaten up or anything (at least not physically), but for months now I can definitively say that I’ve accepted less than what I deserve.

And then yesterday, I hit a wall.

You know, that wall you see in the distance in various situations. That wall that you know if you can’t find a way to avoid it, find a way around it — you’re bound to run into it. And once you run into it you have no choice but to assess the damage and then fix what’s broken OR just cash out and move on.

Yep, that’s where I am now. I slammed into the proverbial wall and I’m now assessing the damage. Which is great. After months in the making, it’s almost catastrophic.

But the good news is that for the first time in months, I can see past the wall now. Running into it, broke it down. It also has broken me, but that hardly seems the point.

After months of thinking that I’d care if I hit the wall, I can say that I don’t. At least not the way that I thought I would. It’s more of a relief than anything else.

What happens next, we’ll have to see.

P.S. I’ve you commented on a recent blog post, emailed me about a post, or anything similar — I’m going to get back to you soon. Work’s been owning me. My personal life has been a disaster. Things are just a mess. But I DO appreciate your kinds words, concern, support. It means a LOT. xoxo.

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