The lack of anonymity

It's not secret I'm not blogging a lot. Tonight, I admitted to myself just why that is. It's not for lack of content. Nor is it for lack of time or even ability to write. It's for lack of anonymity.

In telling you who I am, I've empowered you. Anyone reading this blog. And because of that power over me, I'm afraid to be truly vulnerable.

Don't get me wrong, I've been vulnerable from time to time. But that's been referencing the past in most cases. When talking difficult, current events I write with vague detail. I make sure the reader doesn't fully understand what's going on. Only those VERY, VERY few closest to me can piece together what they know and what I write to see the full picture.

And that's where I am today. I have a LOT I want to get off my chest. A lot I need to sort out. A lot that used to live on my old, anonymous blog that I'm just not comfortable divulging right now. It's a mix of worrying both what you, mostly a collection of wonderful readers whom I don't know "in real life" think, and a worrying about what I'll think about myself if I'm honest enough to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in this case) and admit what all I'm thinking.

So once more, I'm babbling in circles instead of cutting to the truth of things. Because while I'd love to say I'm empowered enough to be honest to strangers, in reality I'm a coward.