How often am I not content?

This is one of those moments where I want to try and explain something, but there's a decent amount of background story necessary to appreciate what I'm trying to say, and thus I become acutely aware of the fact I've not blogged regularly through this awful spring/early summer and I really don't feel like explaining everything at once...

So, I'll just skip to a point and maybe fill in the rest later. But probably not. Let's fact it, I'm a lazy blogger lately.

I went to DC Sisterhood this past Thursday night. It's an all-women, once-a-month ministry at DC Metro Church. Chock full of rocking worship time, a message and socializing. Needless to say, I'm a fan of the whole set-up.

I digress... this week part of the message was about contentment. How easily we become discontent, especially as women. How quickly we'll try and conquer our problems by ourselves when things aren't resolved as fast as we'd like them to be and how miserable we make ourselves in the process.

Boy, does that sound familiar. I'm a pro at getting frustrated that my timing and God's timing doesn't always seem to be aligned, that more often than not take steps away from God and try to take things on myself. And if you've looked at my life over the past few months, years... you'd know this doesn't do me any good. I worry incessantly about problems that I'm facilitating by refusing to surrender.


And then a verse was mentioned -- Proverbs 27:15. I don't think it was meant to stick out. I think it was merely mentioned as part of a larger point, but it just kind of stuck to me.

I'm that woman. That woman whose complaints and discontentment are as annoying as a constant dripping of rain. A steady, continuous drip-drop that drives someone slowly crazy. By not surrendering, I hold on to my brokenness, my worries, and I create this maelstrom of misery in my life.

HOW OFTEN AM I NOT CONTENT?!

But how simple is the concept of letting go and letting God? How much happier would I be if, instead of trying to fix everything myself I took a step back handed it over to the Creator?

I WILL be conscious of my complaints. My weariness. My belligerence when I'm convinced I can do best for myself over anyone else in my life. Over God.

My contentiousness.